Feelings of Failure.

Yesterday was one of those days. You know the ones, where you eat and eat and eat and figure because you have eaten and eaten and eaten that it doesn't really matter anyway? Yeah that was the type.

I keep thinking that I need to write on here. I am sure it isn't because anybody is reading this blog, because I am sure the lack of posts has killed any sort of following, but it probably has to do with me struggling lately. I really just have the attitude of, "well, I am doing well right now and my metabolism is good and I have made it a year in maintenance so I can just play a little." That works a little bit for me. I can play a bit more than I used to be able to while trying to lose weight, but the playing usually adds up over about three weeks and I have to really watch it when it is closer to the first weigh in of the month and worry that I will be over my goal when I weigh in, because I am about two pounds over the two weeks before.

Then I sit around and think: "Is maintenance about going up a few pounds and then buckling back a few pounds to hit the goal at the beginning of the month? Or is maintenance about being the same exact weight from week to week? "

So far for me, maintaining my weight is about being in a range, not a set number. I wish there were some experts who could tell me that this is okay and I could be a little more at ease in my journey to maintain my weight.

I didn't realize that after getting to be my skinny self, there would still be a lot of work to not become chubby again! SIGH.

Support Group

One of the ways I have been successful is to have a good support group. I have found that if I surround myself with people who are positive and who will give me help when needed, I do better. I have also found that I need to keep pessimistic people away from me. I don't need people who will bring me down.

At work, I have snack buddies. These are people who will monitor my food intake. They aren't nags and they don't tell me what to do, but they actually will NOTICE what I am doing. I also have people who will share snacks with me. It is always better to eat half a donut rather than the whole thing, right?

I have a friend here right now and we are horrible supports for each other, right now. We think it is fine to eat and eat because it is "vacation." I need to get out of this mindset and get back on track! But it may be very hard before I get back to Utah and a routine! I also am not a very good support right now because I actually can eat more and am a bit more flexible while in maintenance. So when I want ice cream, I usually eat it!

So, there is the first post about my list of ten things that have helped me be successful. And I even have come up with #10: Ask for help when you need it.!

Whew and a list...

Hi guys. I don't write on here nearly enough. Especially, because I really think I should write a book about my story. It really is a story of triumph. Anyway, I weighed in today and was a little scared, it being the first weigh in of the month. Meaning, if I am over my goal weight by two pounds, then I pay. Well, apparently all my worrying and being very on top of what I was eating paid off because I actually have lost two pounds since last week(maybe wearing lighter clothes helped a little, just sayin'). I had been playing too much the past two weeks and had gained four pounds.

Anyway, my friend has asked me to do a littler presentation at church about my journey. I have come up with a list of nine things that have made me successful at losing weight and for maintaining it the past few months. Here is the list, and I hope to round it out to a list of ten, but this is what I got right now:

1. Tracking all the food I eat and exercise I do.
2. Knowing it's a journey
3. Do not deprive yourself
4. Exercise
5. Drink lots of fluid
6. Veggies and fruit are your friend
7. Controlling my environment
8. Planning ahead
9. Having a support group

Any ideas about a good one for number ten? I am going to write a post about each of these so stay tuned! :)

Not as bad as I thought

I weighed in today and had only gained 1.4 pounds in the two weeks of crazy eat like a maniac times! That is much better than when I had stepped on the scale a few days ago and thought it had read 178 which is way out of my range for Lifetime Membership at Weight Watchers.

That had me pretty paniced(see previous post). But I also think panicing sometimes can be an okay thing because then we are motivated to do better, right? I really need to get off this "it is ok to go over by a few points" mentality. If I do that everyday, I will gain weight. I do think that I can do this on occasion though, which is probably why my little head finds it okay at times. Silly Alice!

It was very nice to get back to a meeting. Today they talked about what you can do to fruits and veggies to make nice snacks. My mouth was watering. I love that mellons and berries are in season right now. I am constantly eating fruit! :)Good stuff!

Well, I am back on the tracking wagon and doing better! :)

Struggling...

Alice has been on vacation for the past week and a half and that has not been good for her journey. Alice has gained four pounds. Alice has not gotten to a Weight Watchers meeting for two weeks. Alice feels lost. Alice overeats just because. Alice needs help. Write her a comment encouraging her to get it together. Alice thanks you.

"Never put food in your mouth with food in your mouth!"

I decided today, while in my Weight Watchers meeting, that I should write on here weekly at least.

I am enjoying my meetings here. Seriously, the leader makes a big difference and I have been lucky to have great leaders wherever I have been. The leader here always does parody songs. This week it was a parody of "Frère Jacques". You know the one: "Are you sleeping, are you sleeping? Brother Jack, Brother Jack?" Anyway, she came down the middle isle today singing: "Are you hungry, are you hungry?" And I piped in with "Of course I am, Of course I am." Because, seriously, this girl is always hungry. Food addict, I am!

Basically, we discussed hunger and how we know when we are truly hungry. This really is tricky for lots of people, because we are accustumed to eating ALL. THE. TIME. So we never even have the chance to be hungry. I remember being in tears over some eggs I was frying back when I first started my weight loss journey because it was the first time I actually remembered feeling hungry. I kept saying: "Oh, this is what it is like to be hungry. I feel bad for starving people!" Quite a perspective isn't it? I have learned to listen to my body signals(even if I don't always listen to them!) and feel like I have a better manage on when I am truly hungry and also when I am truly full.

Here are some tips fro me, Little Old Alice, who is still learning lots about herself. If you think you are hungry, take a moment and analyze. Are you willing to eat carrots rather than the potato chips? If you are truly hungry, you will want to carrots. Also, slow down when you are eating. I noticed that my body takes a bit to communicate that it is full and I am often eating really fast. If you eat too fast, your body goes from being hungry to holy cow being majorly full! Listen and be aware of what your body is communicating to you.

So there are your tips of the week that came to mind as I was at my meeting.

I am traveling to Chicago this weekend for a few day visit to the city. I will be seeing two pro baseball games in two days. I will be in heaven, but I am still having a bit of anxiety about food. I know I will be tempted to eat too much. I better pack my running shoes and some healthy snacks! Life is always a challenge when you are trying to be in control of your weight. What a great journey! Cheers!

Fun Quotes and a Summer Hello!

It's been a long time since I posted on here so I thought I would write a little something-something. (I am planning a ten steps to being successful at weight loss, so stay tuned for those posts!)

Here is a favorite quote from my Weight Watchers meeting today: "If you bite it, write it. If you snack it, track it. If you drink it, ink it. If you put it in your smacker, put it in your tracker."

Really, writing down everything I eat makes me accountable and helps me to know what I can eat to maintain my weight and what I cannot eat to maintain my weight.

I am a little stressed about this weekend because it will be a party for my parents 45th wedding anniversary. As with any parties, there will be lots of eating. I may actually let loose a little bit. It is okay to do that sometimes, but I do also have to remember that letting loose all the time is what got me 60 pounds overweight!

I had a really nice complement from my dad today. He said to my brother: "Don't you think Alice looks a little gaunt?" In dad language that means I am looking quite skinny. My brother and sister-in-law saw me for the first time in 2 years and also said very nice things to me. It is times like that that make me remember where I have come from and it also reminds me that I do need to keep working at maintaining because it is totally worth it. Skinny does really feel better than anything tastes...although s'mores are really doing it for me lately. :)